A new year always brings those dreaded resolutions. It doesn’t help when TV is bombarding us with advertisements for weight loss, organizing, reducing monthly bills and getting our lives “back” in shape. I’m sick of it and January isn’t even over. I’m not interested in your resolutions and I don’t what to tell you mine. I believe resolutions are like birthday wishes – won’t come true if everybody knows ‘em….. But I want to ask -how are you doing with yours? Have you failed yet? If not – fantastic – more power to ya! Way to go! If you have – well….
I’m not here to criticize. Personally - I haven’t begun my resolutions yet – procrastination or fear can be blamed here. Mostly fear. Who said it – “Fear not”? Uh, Oh…
So, I decided to give myself permission to fail ALL my resolutions. I know – failing so early in the game – but here’s what it means to me - I’m going to take all those chances and push to make those changes– and some – maybe all - may not work out. But that’s okay. I have found that I learn a lot when I fail - much more so than when I succeed. When I fail I learn what I can do without, what I’m willing to sacrifice, what I’m made of, where my limits are and where I have hidden strength and what I dare to dream and how far I can to bend. I learn to lean on others, and I find my real, true friends (who will help me bury the bodies!!! :) ). Failure makes my love emphatic and enormous, my laughter more precious, my tears true and deep, and my reach for God persistent. Failure gives me access to a power no amount of success can. I am in a constant state of silent prayers unbidden from my mind and lips, I discover a God who can take my anger and my rage, my When’s, How’s and Why’s and yet remain firmly by my side.
I hope this post doesn’t come off as negative. I am a realist and yet an oddly positive person and I’m certainly not advocating a ban on success. I’m thoroughly FOR success! I yearn to succeed in a multitude of areas. I even have a sign in my kitchen that says “If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.” So, should failure come, I’m ready, cause it’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna revel in it. I’m gonna cry (and definitely cuss) and find somebody to hug me and pray “why, why” for forever. But, I’m gonna be okay…and you will too.