Sunday, January 24, 2010

Those Pesky Resolutions!

A new year always brings those dreaded resolutions. It doesn’t help when TV is bombarding us with advertisements for weight loss, organizing, reducing monthly bills and getting our lives “back” in shape. I’m sick of it and January isn’t even over. I’m not interested in your resolutions and I don’t what to tell you mine. I believe resolutions are like birthday wishes – won’t come true if everybody knows ‘em….. But I want to ask -how are you doing with yours? Have you failed yet? If not – fantastic – more power to ya! Way to go! If you have – well….

I’m not here to criticize. Personally - I haven’t begun my resolutions yet – procrastination or fear can be blamed here. Mostly fear. Who said it – “Fear not”? Uh, Oh…

So, I decided to give myself permission to fail ALL my resolutions. I know – failing so early in the game – but here’s what it means to me - I’m going to take all those chances and push to make those changes– and some – maybe all - may not work out. But that’s okay. I have found that I learn a lot when I fail - much more so than when I succeed. When I fail I learn what I can do without, what I’m willing to sacrifice, what I’m made of, where my limits are and where I have hidden strength and what I dare to dream and how far I can to bend. I learn to lean on others, and I find my real, true friends (who will help me bury the bodies!!! :) ). Failure makes my love emphatic and enormous, my laughter more precious, my tears true and deep, and my reach for God persistent. Failure gives me access to a power no amount of success can. I am in a constant state of silent prayers unbidden from my mind and lips, I discover a God who can take my anger and my rage, my When’s, How’s and Why’s and yet remain firmly by my side.

I hope this post doesn’t come off as negative. I am a realist and yet an oddly positive person and I’m certainly not advocating a ban on success. I’m thoroughly FOR success! I yearn to succeed in a multitude of areas. I even have a sign in my kitchen that says “If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.” So, should failure come, I’m ready, cause it’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna revel in it. I’m gonna cry (and definitely cuss) and find somebody to hug me and pray “why, why” for forever. But, I’m gonna be okay…and you will too.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

And there I am - by the Grace of God....

The holidays are always wonderful.  And every year, just as the holidays end and everything gets back to "normal", I'm left with an emptyness.  I don't know if others share this emptyness or "post holiday blues", or if I'm mental...but that's where I am today, by the Grace of God.  Which is weird, because I'm not the least bit sad! 

But there is just "something" missing.  Perhaps it's all the twinkling lights! Or it could be that the dawn of a new year brings out my mental list of all those things I didn't accomplish last year (I tend to hug the overachiever tree more tightly than others). Fortunately, I'm old enough (i've seen many, many moons) to recognize the feeling as "ok" and move on - over the years I've tried to analyze it and been bogged down til spring.  But I've found it entirely beneficial to myself and those around me (especially those around me) to acknowledge the "feeling" and move on.  I call it one of God's Grace Things.  Didn't want it, didn't expect it, didn't know I needed it, wrong color, size, shape  - but there it is - by the Grace of God - So now what am I to learn from it?!?!  Some years are worse than others.  This year, I found myself WAITING for the depression in the midst of happiness.  An unusual combo - kinda like sweet and salty.....

Anyway, I heard this quote and could not stop thinking about it - and just had to share.  Just think of  it as one of those Christmas presents that was hid so well, it was just now found (those are always fun).  I'm certain this quote will turn up in a painting. But for today, if you find yourself  in need of a good cry - it's okay - in fact, it's better than okay.  Just be your wonderful self!

There is a sacredness in tears.  They are not the mark of weakness, but of pain.  They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving

Monday, January 4, 2010

Happy New Year!

Hi Ya'll,
Hope your New Year is starting out well.  The holidays were wonderful - especially with the snow!  And it's still hanging around.  We've had snow and snow and now COLD...with more snow expected this week.  I LOVE IT!  Perfect painting weather......Thought ya'll might like a peek at some commission pieces I did for holiday gifts.  The first one is owned by Tim Justus & Diana Howell of Charlotte, NC and is entitled "Perfect Peace".  The next one is owned by Mr. & Mrs. Michael Justus of Hendersonvile, NC and is entitled "Love is the Greatest Gift."  The cutie snowman was made by my son and he took the pics - looks like a new (and good) photographer in the family - you know how I am taking pictures!  Stay warm and pray for snow!